check-check, double-check

okay.hi. welcome to the fantasydanceparty. sort of a rocky start for this blog. other side swipes might occur. i'm going to use this space right now to define my goals though.you see, i have a blogging fantasy.i think about blogging a. lot. probably too much. but i'm not even a big enough fan to follow other people around on the internet and create blog-idols. i just stumble upon great blogs and use their recipes and tutorials and keep fantasizing about the day (today?) that my fantastic blog will explode. maybe there are support groups for me out there. if so, there are probably also support groups for my fantasy-kareoke issues. i'm trying to overcome that one though, too. so, for an early new years resolution, i'm going to create a vicious cyclical blog of crafting and blogging and fashion photography and delicious food and fabulous things that shouldn't just be reserved for my roommates to witness. i'm going to spread my fabulous love of life to include the cyber realms, and in a more engaged way then just eating up lookbook or the sartorialist. i'm going to make bloggy friends and feel better about myself for having a healthy, egotistic outlet, in a space where such a thing is allowed, nay, welcomed! hooray!and i'll actually sing the kate bush songs that I practice for kareoke, even if i have to scout all over this god-forsaken town for a bar that plays her music!... and I'll use better punctuation, I swear.

Okay, so that's that.Onto the many many things which I do not know about blogging and so I will blog about in a curious way..Am I supposed to introduce myself? How do people "find" a blog, unless my pictures and recipes and tra-la-la-ings are so magnetically fabulous? Are there people out there who just stumble upon the things? If anyone reads this, I would love to know just how exactly you found it. Again, I wonder if i should introduce myself, or if i'm supposed to remain mysterious and anonymous so that no creepers find me and ... steal my keytar!! Or soul. Or whatever. .. And can I talk about my soul, on a fashion-crafty-blog?? Should these things be mutually exclusive??Well, Devil may care, but I'm going to blog my little ass off about who I am and what my story is.My name is Sophie and I live in a strange town in Arizona. I am a massage therapist and soon-to-be college graduate. I am pursuing an interdisciplinary degree in Human Development and Psychology. I'm into Transpersonal Psychology and have interest in pursuing a degree post-grad at the ITP in California. Or I may lean towards an Art Therapy certification. Or I may find a bunch of fabulous people to tour the country or world with doing bizzarly positive and endearing performance art and throwing psychedelic art parties with. I think this would make me the quintessential hipster girl. Which I'm okay with. Sure, these rantings and wishes are mostly superficial, the things I make, wear, say, and think are just responses to my environment... and that the world is a very messed up place and some counter-cultures feel safe to me. The sort of contrast I see in my world... it's very petty and trivial and softcore. If the worst of my problems is coping with judgement for buying the wayfarers, or not, well I know that I'm lucky for that. but it still has an effect... and I think it's kept me from blogging or fulfilling these media and material desires I have. How strange... to feel like I belong to counter-cultures which both bat lashes and snarl at new shoes, Capitalism, nice beer. I think I had ought to keep straddling this wierd fence. Maybe this blog will stay a secret and no one will see my beautiful world. Maybe I'll connect with other people who deal with this ridiculous insecurity... to blog about the surface, the depth and the inbetween... but to live a different life, where the focus is not on the fabulous shoes or the Soul Retrieval... such a strange modern balance to keep.
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