Fright Night

A lousy poem about sex

Consentual is not a word recognized by spellcheck.
I want you to hold back with me,
and mine in mind, please do that.

Instead we roll turned on and on
you don't want to walk me home.
And when we do you lecture me
cause you're the older one.

Like doing drugs without the sun
Like crying without tears
This is why I don't have sex
I'm sentimental and queer.

Please don't call me
I will not call you.
I'll avoid having sex
Cause it makes me want love too.

Ed. note: bad bad bad poetry should die, but what should really die is my shit attitude about sex right now.
seriously. okay, i've been working on avoiding sexin since my teens, but mostly my goal is to make right with my body and honor what feels safe and healthy. i'm upset with myself, not for having sex, but for not listening to myself yet afuckingain. yet again. thats the pain right there. right there in my chest.

although my dry spell was feeling really good and intentional, lets call a spade a spade. I wasn't totally comfortable with my relationships in ptown being sexually/spiritually radical enough, even if i made myself a good reputation in that town and proud by holding prudish boundaries.

Its okay that i had sex with this dude and that i never have to again, since what i feel today is just false longing and withdrawal from someone i do not know. I made sure to be grateful for the situation and I am, to be greatful for the sexual energy and to send it to the creative and healing love for my body and reproductive system. that was the first time i have had sex in a year. holy shit. this is a moment to be celebrated, even if it wasn't the best!

WASN'T THE BEST BUT
WAS FOR THE BEST.

Hollies Days