worry lines

since i last wrote


the sorrow of helena blew me away
heading south for warmer stays
 i found myself amongst the youth
of boulder, denver, and my own body too

once again i paid a stranger
to touch my soul and draw it nearer
realigning body and distancing from anger
happily deluded into visions of your angles
i eagerly pressed too hard the whole time

and once again i have sold it back
in fury with bottles, in your bed, in my heart
by running behind on already laid track
did we fuck what we made, i loved it the same
the damn flame's a fire i don't want to put out.
i want to hold you holy, grinning
making weird living lovable and your love
unstoppable and my head so grounded and
clear in my bounds.

and here again, in prescott i am thinning
feeling bad feelings and not eating dinner
and wishing i wasn't so crazy, for you,
and wishing i wasn't so crazy,  for me.

i am a bulldozer i am a taurus
i am a fool who believes in the sources
but unrealizing i guide my own body
toward ridiculous crushes my soul cannot touch.

and now here i am, all the sex building up
into crumbling surfaces of dishonest doubts
and my heart has a hard-on
and my hard-on went soft
when it heard you preferred me not being about

im not for it but i'm not against it
i'll do what you want, or compromise to an extent
but why the fuck did i come back here
if just to figure out that shit



i think i'm in love
but i'm still broke and sick