hmm. went back to arizona after 2 depressing months at my parents house. just got back to parents house feeling pretty weird. what i learned:
This time, Arizona taught me that:**i have amazing friends** who are there for me and i can be there for, in so many ways. fuck yeah rad peeps doin awesome stuff and having fun! taking hikes drinking beers prairie palooza 2012 battlestar galactica 4/20 party with the beats and the bluegrass and the beautiful Pentacostal with the van who i went down on for the first time in his life and my life my life my life is wild and the sadnesses of it all with the Dudes and his room and the light on his face as i took him in my mouth down in the meadow by the creek in the sun swallowing whole and now i am empty. self grasping i only seem to realize the presence of something to miscalculate after its gone. empty. void. like some place you sat, ripped away and seriously took a some stuff with it, we were so stuck together. of course we can't stick together. of course i gotta go again and hang out with the people who are steady in my life: these women. but perhaps there is some steady love affection unadulterated kisses and boundaries i lay like iron rod that will save the day and fuck saving the date i'll live alone and prosper. and apparently no one in the this world will stand up for shit, and you have to depend upon yourself to do it yourself. especially men, or at least some christian men.
also: i am attracted to beautiful people who treat me with respect and consideration.
also: all sorts of people are into the big jesus and that is so interesting and i feel such divide.
also:
really stoked to go to argentina in 2 weeks with ellen. i am so excited to see tania, and all the travel sandwiches in between. and i'm turning 25 and i am so overwhelmed.
OK BACK TO BUSINESS
KARAOKE GREATS
i did karaoke in sheridan wyoming on my way down south last month. i drove to the eagles club on the corner on a friday night, alone. since it was an eagles club you can smoke inside and it had this huge domed ceiling and there was a girl with downs syndrome singing "pony" by geniwine and i sang "sugar walls".it was amazing.
it was also pretty white trash and thank god, i wore my flannel. one guy bought me beer, i two-stepped to a karaoke song with another. some people started talkin to me and telling me i was pretty and invited me to RAILS in sheridan which is a shitty bro bar with black lights and erratic djs playing mostly girl jams. but not the good girl jams. danced all night.
i did karaoke in prescott and that sweet pentacostal came with and a nice older gay man bought us beer and kept winking! and sang bonnie tyler! i sang "twilight time", "stand by you", and part of "lovefool" but it was scratched and skipping.
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